Wednesday, September 3, 2014


Hey, wait. I've been through this situation before. When I was in Foundation------ and yes, during school either.
What did I do?
Skipping classes, skipping school for a day~ just because I want to run away from my problems and find solutions.... Such a rebel person.

I tried to distinguish each of my problems. It just eternal problems. Cannot be accept as definite reason. But it hurts me a lot. It hurts when you try to endure everything and pretend that you are fine.
You're trying to tell people that you're not okay, but you don't know how to put it into words.
You tend to remain silence and scarce away.... and you know it won't solve a thing.
You're forcing yourself to solve those problems and forcing yourself to stay cool. Impressive, yet detonative.

This is what I call childish. Mengada-ngada.
Everybody have problems too, but they don't get ruthless. Stupid me. Always wanting a peaceful life. Always wanting a perfect life. Always asking for impossibilities. Always looking for troubles.
Be different, she said.
Take a risk, she said.

I'm done. There's no 'If and only if'. There must be 'I must do something to change this'. It's okay to glance at the past but don't stare at it too long.
It has never been beautiful until the end of my life.

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