Friday, September 12, 2014

Idea for Investigating Essay~?

Hi. Currently busy with assignments.

Studying language isn't easy, dude.... really not a friendly course.
Most of the time, you have to be careful with vocabulary usage and extra concern on grammar. If not, you're just a scholar who get 4 flat but unable to speak English like a scholar should be.
I'm embarassing myself. Indeed. *cries*

Btw, I'm doing a lot of research now as we have to improve our writing skill and enhance our point of view in every subjects. Critical thinking is important for educator, informer and diplomat. In second semester, we are learning to be like college student. And think like adult.

Currently I'm doing a research on Wealthy, Happiness and Mental Illness.

So how did we get the idea?

Firstly, I wanna do an essay about Crisis in Knowledge. It was inspired by Shaykh Hamza Yusof during his talk at Dewan Sri Budiman, UITM Shah Alam (*Shingeki salute* uitm di hatiku *muaaahh*). And the assignment must be in pair. My partner have a deep interest in motivation and she like to investigate more on happiness.
And so, both ideas got rejected. One, too specific. Two, too wide. Ha.

Then, I reminisced the investigate essay I did during my study in Law. I did a topic about mental health and jurisdiction. Suddenly, I wondered how did mentally-ill people survived from the genetic/unwelcome disease and social stigma.
That brings me the idea to investigate about hopes in mentally-ill people.
Plus, I've been to Hospital Tanjung Rambutan or National Asylum Centre for several times so I have networking for further information. However, my partner still want to talk about 'Happiness', before she mentioned 'Money'.

That is how my lecturer put a relation with those three elements and we strongly hold with 'Money cannot buy Happiness'
The high cost living nowadays, less free time, limited hobby, high demands; it makes people go crazy.

And my mom who is a specialist (in her way to be) in Psychiatry quoted extra info for us "Money cannot buy mental health or wealthy but not mentally health"

This quote drives me crazy though.
Now you know why I think critically and sometimes, over the norm line. Because I have broad-thinking parents.

I wonder what is that supposed to mean.
Even when I asked her, she explained it in incomprehensible terms! I'm not a Medic student ;n;

Annnnnnnnddd, be sure to wait for our Arabic video~!
Getting my head on games again~~~~~~~~have a nice day, people XD

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Childish

Hey, wait. I've been through this situation before. When I was in Foundation------ and yes, during school either.
What did I do?
Skipping classes, skipping school for a day~ just because I want to run away from my problems and find solutions.... Such a rebel person.

I tried to distinguish each of my problems. It just eternal problems. Cannot be accept as definite reason. But it hurts me a lot. It hurts when you try to endure everything and pretend that you are fine.
You're trying to tell people that you're not okay, but you don't know how to put it into words.
You tend to remain silence and scarce away.... and you know it won't solve a thing.
You're forcing yourself to solve those problems and forcing yourself to stay cool. Impressive, yet detonative.

This is what I call childish. Mengada-ngada.
Everybody have problems too, but they don't get ruthless. Stupid me. Always wanting a peaceful life. Always wanting a perfect life. Always asking for impossibilities. Always looking for troubles.
Be different, she said.
Take a risk, she said.

I'm done. There's no 'If and only if'. There must be 'I must do something to change this'. It's okay to glance at the past but don't stare at it too long.
It has never been beautiful until the end of my life.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

For him~ that stupid jerk whatever bastard I'm so angry with you!!!!

-sighs- 

Bila kita melihat seseorang dan kita ingin menjadi lebih baik daripada dia, lebih hebat daripada dia, lebih bertaqwa daripada dia, sebenarnya dia dah mendapat pahala kerana menjadi inspirasi anjakan paradigma.
Macam tu jugalah aku lihat lelaki itu.
Selalu je nak melebih-lebih. Bengang pun ada gak. Bangga ya networking kamu lagi bagus daripada aku? //baling botol kat dia

Bila aku lihat dia, aku teringat kisah malam tu. Bagaimana hadis tu boleh terpetik dalam ingatan dan bagaimana aku paksa diri untuk menjadi lebih baik. Dulu ya, aku mencintai seorang lelaki kerana keperibadiannya. Aku akui akulah perempuan paling bahagia dulu. Sebab tu Allah ambil dia. Ya aku paham...
Dan Allah gantikan dengan seseorang yang baru. Yang aku rasa tekanan untuk menjadi lebih baik. Dan sekaligus, mendekatkan diri aku dengan Maha Pencipta...

Hal ini kerana aku risau aku mendalami agama semata2 nakkan perhatian dia. Kerana di padang mahsyar kelak, orang yang mendalami ilmu agama kerana riya' dan takbur, kerana mahu perhatian orang ramai, kerana mahu populariti, tiada terdetik pun untuk Ilahi, maka carilah kamu orang2 yang kamu dambakan dahulu.

إِنَّ أَّخْوَفَ مَا أَخَافُ عَلَيْكُمْ الشِّرْكُ الأَصْغَُرُ، قَالُوْا : وَمَا الشِّرْكُ الأَصْغَرُ؟ قَالَ : الرِّيَاءُ، يَقُوْلُ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لِأَصْحَابِ ذَلكَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ إذَا جَازَى النَّاسَ : اِذْهَبُوْا إِلَى الَّذِيْنَ كُنْتُمْ تُرَاءُوْنَ فِي الدُّنْيَا، فَانْظُرُوْا هَلْ تَجِدُوْنَ عِنْدَهُمْ جَزَاءً ؟!

"Sesungguhnya yang paling aku khawatirkan menimpa kalian adalah syirik kecil". Mereka berkata, "Apakah itu syirik kecil?". Nabi berkata, "Riyaa', pada hari kiamat tatkala Allah membalas perbuatan manusia maka Allah berkata kepada orang-orang yang riyaa' : "Pergilah kalian kepada orang-orang yang dahulu di dunia kalian riyaa kepada mereka, maka lihatlah apakah kalian akan mendapatkan balasan amalan (riyaa) kalian di sisi mereka??!" (Hadits ini dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Albani dalam ash-Shahihah no 951).

Sampai sekarang, aku ingat teguran dia.
Aku simpan semuanya dalam ingatan. Dan aku tahu betapa hebatnya short term memory dia. Ye ye, tu pun aku ingat ==
So, terima kasih banyak2 kepada lelaki tersebut kerana memperkenal satu level baru yang aku tak pernah alami. Ia sekaligus menambahkan ilmu yang semakin ku lupa dan.... menjadi lebih baik daripada semalam?

Pada asalnya, ibadah tahajjud ku mungkin didorong oleh kau, wahai pemuda. Samalah seperti fesyen hijab yang mendorong Rania @ Felixia Yeap untuk mencuba hijab. Akhirnya, dia sendiri ikhlas untuk memeluk agama Islam kerana tertarik dengan keindahan dan kesucian hak muslimah.
Lama selepas tu, aku sedar, bangun malam ku hanya mendatangkan penat. Hafazan al-Kahfi tidak tersemat dalam ingatan. Masa tu aku sedar ada yang perlu aku perbaiki iaitu hubungan aku dengan Allah.
Agar aku tak menjadi munafik. Mengaku mencintai Allah dan Rasulnya padahal lebihnya perasaanku padamu.
Aku tak tahu sama ada aku seorang yang menyimpan perasaan ini. Tapi aku harap, hati kita berada dalam lindungan-Nya. Ukhuwah fillah abadan abada...InsyaAllah...