Saturday, August 3, 2013

Ramadan almost leaving . . . and I'm stress here !!!

Assalammualaikum and peace be upon you :)

Yah~ am so glad that am still alive until now .
Still breathing and inhaling the polluted air~ listening to every nagging~

In less than 5 days , we'll be celebrate Hari Raya or Eid Mubarak .
And as far as everybody know about my latest-unwanted-career , so some people are lucky enough to experience this stuff :)

Making baju kurung~

Yeah~ raya nak dekat kot . Slalunye time sepuluh malam terakhir Ramadan ni , saye bleh duduk dengan tenang~ baca Al-Quran sampai khatam , buat kuih raye , biskut raye , decorate house~
That was me when I was a student .
I can't experience those usual things on Ramadan when I was a part-timer , and now as a tailor .

Sakit hati ngan tailoring ni .

For some reason , mostly due to my health condition , I'd face some difficulties in sewing all this stuff .
I've done with curtains for the whole house~ and some people know about the sickness I had during 3 weeks of Ramadan , and depression .
People will never stop judging us =___=

And now , I'm doing 3 projects~ all due date on Monday .

And problems occur .

Mom can't wear the baju kurung because the armhole is inadequate

But when I checked back on draft paper and retrace to make the inseam smaller , IT STILL DIDN'T WORKKKKKKKKKKK------

You see , I still have to comple 4 more juzuk and time is getting shorter .
Baju melayu moden still have to be fixed on the front (buttons) . And now , I'm so worried of Mak Muza's baju kurung .
All thankful to one failure dress .

Oh sorry . It's the third . Before that I tried to make baju kurung Riau . And funny is , the cloth is too miserable and I'd make several-damn-silly-mistakes which I want to forget .

And again~
Don't ask why I never come back to that place .
The depression I talk about is again , about people's hopes .
People keep pressuring me with their hopes and never try to listen to what I want . And my kareshi . . . . the longing decreases since I've deleted all our messages .
Am so regret for not listening to the higher-up , for not listening to kareshi , for not thinking further about it .
If and only if I accepting study offer from UPSI , learning Software Engineering , InsyaAllah I won't suffering such things like now .

The situation is pressuring enough------

And I keep regretting for not accepting STF after UPSR  . . . because I'm so afraid of bully . . . and not applying MRSM when I'm qualified for it . . . because I'm so afraid of bully and living faraway from parents . . . . am envying my friends who studying abroad . . . .
I used to say I wanna be a detective .
I wanna join Forensic .
But parents doesn't allowed me to .
I love investigation . . .  and investigating on stars !
Astronomy is an interesting subject 8DD
Too bad I wasn't the best student in Science Stream |DD

I'm so regret of my future now .

I hate sewing . . . . Always skipping ERT sewing classes . . . .  reason why I stay in GM ?
Because I never had fun with my classmates .
Used to have SZERS but I was a fool . Real fool that I wasted on our friendship with silly things .
In GM , everything was fun ~! Real fun that I don't even care about my future .
Back then I've relied too much on kareshi . With hope and no doubt :)

 But after graduation , after auntie told us a real untold story , I've become wary on people there .
My classmates are  exclusions .
Truly said , if you don't like me then tell me . Straight/on/the/face . You don't have to act nicely and pretending !
Because it broke my trust on you !
I hate musuh dalam selimut . Keep that in mind . And I'm no longer a Law student . Keep that in mind .

Geez . . . gotta get back on work . . . am so depressed with all problems I have now . . . really need a space to let it out . . . (but he's gone . . .) . . .ganbatte , Tasya =w=b

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