Saturday, August 17, 2013

More Sleep for Lonely People XD

Assalammualaikum and peace be upon you :)
How're ya doing , fella ? May all of you have great days~~

The second statement is relating to my condition now :D

Lately , I've been laughing too much . Even on silly little things and my family find it quite annoying XD
And sleep !
I've been sleeping like I didn't get one !

I don't know why . I've been tired . Emotionally disturbed . But I still can act like nothing happened . Even my sisters can't figure out bout his death .
They thought I had a fight with him . And we'll cool soon .
Yeah . . . . it sadden me , anyway .

I'm worrying too much . That's that . And dad's company is on edge . So , as the eldest , I have to make a move for a new business (just like he wished and we planned) .
But you know , I'm still crying over his death .
It's been months but I really can't take it . It's . . . kinda hurt me when Takasugi mentioned myself as his girlfriend .
Just like what he told him .
. . . . . I can't survive if I keep bearing him that close .
Lets just be friend .
Then stranger .
Like a cycle of breaking up~~ but you still can see your ex lingering with his life~ but mine ? Nope .

Mom even noticed about my condition .
FIRST , she's a mom . MY MOM <3 p="">SECOND , she's a lecturer~ psychology---- no , abnormal state in psychology .
The subject is fun ! I enjoyed myself reading on her books when I was a child . Thus , the development of interest in schizo study was derived from her~

And this is another problem of mine .

I love investigation . I'm looking for a future which might harm my family .
Such as forensic .
Come on~ I've said this before when I was 14 . "The world is getting crucial . Soon , we'll be busy with unforgivable scenes ."
Dad was a special cop . He knows how things go inside . So , he kinda disapprove my ambition .
Lawyer . He allowed me to be one . But I don't like lawyers . Right after I know that we have to defending even a criminal . There are exceptions on that but you'll be in big troubles . And convincing people about hidden facts or additional info ??
They said Honest and Justice can't survive . You need Trick . And I'm getting enough of it .

Oh see ? I've wrote everything here~ and nobody will read this . So glad XD

If and only if Nicchan have time like he used to be . If Kori-chan isn't that busy . If I can be playful like I had with Rin-chan , Neko-chan and BriBri . . .
Perhaps I won't be lonely .
Perhaps I can get over his death .
And get over every sarcasms and criticisms I had after he left .

When he was alive , I used to sleep for 3 hours per day .
But I don't mind . And I didn't get tired .
Because I was happy .
I know I have someone to rely on . After each of them get busy with life .
He's busy too . He told me about his work . His life . His crazy housemates . Boro-chan XDD
But .
He never forget to send greetings .
Day greetings . Night greetings .

That's why I don't feel really lonely .

I have him with me .

Let the world set fire on us . As long as you're here , I know I can survive .

Best friend ?
Like I said , I know they are busy . Sometimes I'm too afraid to send them a Hi because I'm afraid that it might disturb them .
But Koshiro . He's an exclusion .
Because he often seek time for me . Even when I hurt him badly /REAL.BAD/ but he never give up !
I really don't know what's inside his mind .
But I guess . . .  That's love . For him .

Whatever it is , I must try to get over all this things and live with my parents .

I don't have dreams like most of my friends .

As long as mom and dad in peace , I'll be in peace too .

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