Sunday, June 24, 2012

3 Hours Non-Stop Cryingg !!!

Whatever happen to my hamsters after this , it is partly my fault and 'from Allah it comes , to Allah it goes'.

Even if my cat can speak and explain , I will try to understand that it is nature call for Tom and Jerry.
Currently weeping for both hamsters . . . .
-6:56pm


Aku tak percaya yang aku dah tanam hamster aku tadi .

Quite unbelievable that Tiny is dead. And Kecik is sleeping with pain. 

I can't stop from searching its heartbeat and keep on praying for its life. . . . when we rescued Tiny from Bugsy's , it was hardly breathing and I still keep Kecik on my palm for treatment after Bugsy's attack. It was so horrible and terrifying !
I can't stop crying while screaming for Tiny to stay alive . Then my mom yelled at me for behave like that and she remind me about Allah.
I was so terrifying for thinking what will happen next and I was afraid that for my behaviour , miracle won't happen.
At the moment when I recite Al-Fatihah , with drops of tears , it look at me with a pair of eyes that told me to smile and let it go. . . .
Then we put Kecik and Tiny together so at least , before one of them go , they will spend their time together. It was so horrible . . . . seriously horrible.
At the second time I recite Al-Fatihah , I can feel that Tiny will go away.
For the second thought , why didn't I recite Ayatul Kursi ?? Why didn't I recite Selawat Shifa' ?? It was so horrible . . . . in many way.

Maybe Bugsy wants to put Tiny back into the cage but------NONONONO IT'S NATURE CALL !!!!
THAT IDIOT WILL EAT MY HAMSTERS IN ANY CHANCE !!!!
IT'S NATURE CALL , I REPEAT !!!

I think . . . it just almost a week they're with us and now Tiny's gone.

It was so horrible and I can't stop thinking that it is partly my fault. . . .

-7:38pm


No more hamster for this meantime . I hate Bugsy in many ways . . . he attacked my hamsters and now both of them in terrifying state.
-7:41pm


Sedih .
-7:42pm


Well , I am not crying for the dead hamster.

But I cried for the one who bare the pain.

If human in pain , they can speak and tell us. But animals?? They can't speak!! They have to survive for themself!! And Roborovski is TOO TINY for that !!!

When I look at Kecik and how it try to treat itself . . . reach for food. . . . I will cry again and again. It is too small for that and it can bare two pains : arm and losing a friend.
And myself? I can't even bare a pain even a scratch on my hand. I cried for it.

Ya Allah , hebatnya ciptaan-Mu! Mampu berjuang untuk hidup dalam keadaan begitu.

I can't believe that it's happening and I'm afraid that I will hate my cats forever . . .

-8:00pm


Aku masih lagi menangis bila tengok hamster ni . . . .
-8:34pm


Alim - alim kucing .

I guess now I know what does it really means~

-8:47pm


Kenapa saya sayang sangat Tiny dan Kecik ?

1# Sebelum pegi keje , pagi2 tu mesti pastikan makanan diorang cukup . . . . sangkar tutup rapat . . . . air cukup dan sebagainya.
Pastu mesti main2 dengan hamster smpai sanggup lewat lebih setengah jam!

2# Sebab saya menyaksikan kasih sayang antara haiwan yang membuatkan saya rasa takjub dan terharu.
Masa tu saya OD so spend masa dengan tido je la . . . sambil tu letak hamsters tu kat sebelah. Mase hujan turun tengahari tu , punye la sejuk nak mampos smpai saya balut kaki saya dengan kain pelapik meja! (Kes malas bangun amik selimut ==')
Mase tu jugak saya perasan Kecik ni sejuk. Kesian. . . .smpai menggigil. So si Tiny ni turun gelongsor , kutip bedding pakai mulut , bawak naik atas and humban atas badan kawan dia ni. Awwwwww sho shweetttt!!!! ♥
Saya tengok je gelagat diorang~ pastu tolong letak bedding dalam rumah diorang~

3# Masa Tiny hilang , saya sorang je yang tau exact location Tiny. Sanggup saya alihkan kabinet yang penuh dengan medical books tu untuk pastikan betol tak hamster sengal tu ade kat bawah. Alhamdulillah ada =)
Sekurang-kurangnya mama dah tak sedih lepastu~

4# Saya suka tengok cara dorang makan favourite food dorang~!! Kuaci and Jagung~!! ♥

5# Saya suka tengok cara hamsters taking care of each other . . . . sangat prihatin. . .

Lepas ni dah tak dengar dah bunyi 'chit chit'. Slalunye Tiny kacau Kecik tido. Ni Kecik tido sekor-sekor. . . .dengan tangan yang dah macam cacat . . . . apapun, saya masih mahu berpegang dengan kata-kata mama yang Allah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk seterusnya . . .

-9:37pm


‎-wipe tears- Smile , come back here .
-9:39pm


Tadi pegi tengok Kecik (after 3 hours crying) , and Kecik tengah makan.
Kesian tengok cara dia makan . . . dia tundukkan badan dia and satu tangan pegang makanan , meanwhile tangan dia yg cedera parah tu dia tahan dengan kaki , so makanan tu takkan roll away~ pandai !

Dia perasan kot saya pandang dia dengan senyuman (well, before that aq asyik nangis!) kemudian dia tolak badan dia keluar dari rumah dan pegi ke sebelah tapak. Untuk mudahkan dia yg dah tak okay , saya pindahkan air ke atas. Bila tengok dia minum tadi, sebak kejap dada ni.
Sedih tengok keadaan tikus kecik ni . . . . masih berupaya untuk berjuang demi hidup tapi aku??
Bila dia masuk balik dalam rumah untuk sambung tido , saya tengok dia tido terlentang smbil menggigil.
Sedih tengok. . . .tapi saya rasa Kecik mesti lagi sedih tengok tuan dia menangis. . .

It's okay Kecik~ I will buy a lot of jagung until you recover! Then I will buy you a new friend 8D

-10:02pm



I can't believe I've cried for 3 hours non-stop and now I'm having a bad headache >.<''
-11:33pm

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