Thursday, August 6, 2009

...........death?



Again...
I'm struggle to be among of them.
I want to be their friend
but...

It's all just a mistake and
it has destroyed my life now...

If I could see the future,
I'll never make any friends.....
I'm supposed to be lonely...
and die.....

They're the reason of my broken friendship.
Why do they achieve happiness?
I'm the victim and...always be...
Why??

Sometimes I think that God is unfair.
I was born for darkness, am I?
Why is it the test He gave to me is hard to face??

I want a last longer friendship.
I want to be my old self.
It's a wish that I'll never achieve....

Why am I still here?

I must take care of their heart.
I must be polite with other.
I must sacrifice everything to other.
I must do....what I don't want to do.

Then why am I not born as a robot??
Without emotions!
Without feelings!
Without consideration!
Who am I?
A doll??

What happen in my past....?
Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.
I keep reminisce about it.

I want to tell the world about what had happened to me!
I want to tell the world how cruel human have become!
I want to tell how suffer I am because of human being!

My research not just make me hate the world but also human!
Is there anything that can make me sad?
Until the day I'm dying, let me suffer more then.....

I still remember the day I thought I will die...
Before that, I had a fever after a month I've lose my best friend.
I'm lonely and badly lonely...
Then....my soul is hurt....
I can't feel anything that day.....
I was crying...hoping that I manage to meet my family....for once!
I can't barely breathe that day.
....the day that I thought I will die.
And I found myself still alive.
Face a new life before the betration happen again.